On learning to ask for help

Right out my user experience bootcamp, I joined an early stage compliance automation start-up. Being the only designer and a new one to boot, to keep up with my experienced colleagues I felt I needed to level up, fast. And to that end, I tried adopting documentation and organization processes from more established product and design organizations.

I began writing requirements docs that captured our customers’ problems, complete with detailed evidence for why this was a problem we needed to get after, the approach we’d take in solving the problem and even down to the delivery timeline. I prioritized every ticket in our product backlog against our stated initiatives and objects, combing through call recordings and customer email exchanges to furnish each feature request with evidence for why we should or shouldn’t go for it. In the fast-paced world of an early startup, I felt like I was doing my part to create clarity and tame some of the chaos we were taking on.

One day, my manager sat me down, and said, “Look Ivan, I need you to focus on designing the experience for this feature. I know we’re not doing things ‘by the book’, but right now we need to concentrate 100% of our energy on solving the customer needs in front of us first.”

I confused how I do the work with what the work actually was. My work was understanding our customers’ problems deeply, with the goal of developing the clarity I needed to design a meaningful experience for the solution. I had indexed too much on documenting decisions and consolidating customer evidence, which had ironically created confusion amongst the team, rather than the clarity I was aiming for.

I was lacking clarity. But that wasn’t actually the problem: it was that I was anxious about being perceived as incapable if I asked for help. Being non-technical, new to being a designer, and new to the team I already felt like I was starting behind the pack. I got so caught up in this spiral to prove that I was a capable designer that I didn’t even realize that I needed help.

The energy that I had invested in the work around my work could’ve been invested in staying closer to the people using the product. Directly asking and leaning on leadership and stakeholders for feedback on what problems they wanted to solve would’ve created more clarity that rearranging an outdated product roadmap multiple times.

Hindsight is always 20-20. I don’t know if I could’ve learned this lesson unless I experienced it firsthand. On my journey to becoming a better designer, I’ve become better though not perfect at recognizing when I need help, what I typically need help with, and who to ask for what kind of help. Maybe most importantly though, is that learning that help is always available in some form, especially when I feel like it’s not.